Statement 4. 4/8/23
Me when. Me when I get to visit a homie :).
So I'm in a different city for a few days. Thrilled. Concert tomorrow! Well, today. Not sure if we're gonna get any fucking sleep before that. Whatever, lolz. I'm just like, glad to be hanging out with this homie again. It's been months. I missed him.
Bruh, also-I get hot flashes, now, I guess. It's a side effect of testosterone, similar to how extra testosterone does that to women going through menopause. I'm kind of in hell, but it's not like, intolerable or anything.
I'm a little manic. Didn't take my meds the other night. It was on accident at the time-I went to sleep earlier than usual-but then I just kept not taking em, for the energy mania gives me. It's been a long ass day.
Some dipshit contractor cut into a fiber optics cable a few towns over, so internet went out everywhere from like... 4pm last night to 1pm today. AT&T, Verizon, and one of the other main ones went out. Sprint, maybe, I think. So I was up early trying to do whatever the hell I could to get wifi-which was, sit in the parking lot of a random realestate agency and steal the wifi of someone nearby, that was probably on Xfinity or one of the services that wasn't down. Pain in the ass. That's why I went to bed earlier too-nothing to fucking do, with the wifi AND service out.
Concert tomorrow! And so, so much fucking driving. But it's my car, I do what I want, so I can handle that however I see fit. I think like half of my healing journey or whatever is just gonna have to be about fucking-doing what I actually want, and not just people-pleasing. If I want a fucking snack, I'm allowed to pull over and get a fucking snack-which seems so, so simple, but it's like, a foreign concept to my traumatized ass mind.
Anyway. Thrilled to just be watching a friend play a video game and relax, yknow? Thrilled just to be in the same room as him and fucking TALKING. I'm becoming such a goddamn hermit. That'll end when I get to college, but fuck, dude. Extrovert time. Friend time. I needed it.